Three In Love

The Reviews

"A steamy book about the history of sexual threesomes"
--NY Daily News

"At the heart of the threesome lurks nuclear material that can lead to an explosion . . . or immense energy"
--Geraldo Rivera

"The writers argue that domestic threesomes are healthy and certainly nothing new."
--The Bookwoman (Women's National Book Association)
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"Racy and engaging... "
--Entertainment Weekly

"People's Almanac of love-triangle lore"
--New Yorker

"Their well-researched book argues that three isn't necessarily a crowd"
--Washington Post
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"Their menage a trois is as loving and healthy as any traditional monogamous union"
--The Philadelphia Enquirer

"This three-way energy does amazing things"
--Chronical of Higher Education

"The authors dare us to suspend our belief in conventional values while they make their case that it takes three to tango. Whether we buy their premise whole, in part, or not, this provocative book must be read. It's a fascinating narrative that deals elegantly with our last great taboo. The scholarship is profound and the writing is crisp, lively, fast-paced, and singularly compelling."
--Jack Engelhard, author of INDECENT PROPOSAL
Sexuality & Culture Magazine
A Triadic Perspective
Nina Harltly

I found thd book Three in Love to be fun, informative, well researched, and accessible, It especially has value for lay readers (those who are not practicing an alternative love/life style and have no plans to do so).

As the junior member of a longstanding triad, I was compelled to buy the book for the title alone, I was delighted to Iearn about another triad of multi-year duration whose members were informing the world about triads and speaking from the knowledge of their own experience. One of the few books ever witten on the subject, it looks at triads as positive, even common, as opposed to sick 'love triangles" or twisted expressions of self-loathing.

Three In Love is an important addition to the growing collection of material devoted to alternative sexuality, it deftly combines extensive research with pertinent social history, accurate psychological insights, and cultural commentary. While I was already aware of many of the subjects and their historical importance (Engels, Lenin, Hemingwey, de Beauvoir, Sartre, Nietzsche, to name just a few), l had no idea of the central place of the menage in their lives nor of its influence on their work and, subsequently, the profound effect of menages on our culture.

That our ideas of ourselves freqently come from, or are shaped by, popular culture (books, film, theater, art) is not a new concept. Haowever, the revelation that the dynamics of the triad (real or imagined) had such an influence an the content of much of that popular culture is astounding and exciling to contemplate. Far example, deconstructing the meanings and subtext of classic films is, for me, made more relevant if I know that a performer lived in a menage or was bi-sexual.

We often drink of "the past" as more puritanical, more closed-off, with fewer options for women, Yet, in threir time, the existence of many of these menages were common, if not public, knowledge. The negative social consequences reported seem, overall. actually quite minimal even when taking into account the socia/economic class of the players.

The strongest individuals in many of the triads were women-fierce, avant-garde, intellectual, sexual and political mavericks who were willing to take the conscequences of living for themselves. The men, as well, were sexually diverse, often living erotic and domestic lives that were at odds with what society permitted.

The authors take pains to differentiate between a true menage (typified by mutual consent) and the jealousy-based "love triangle" (marked by deceit and guilt). The latter, with all its traditional morality played out, is the staple of fiction. In life, however it becomes apparent that people have, in fact, always striven to create the family structure they need. Indeed, this is the book's strong point for me. The matter-of-fact seamless detailing of the emotional nuances, particular to multiple intimacy, is handled with great insight. The book's description of how love and desire work in the real world is very helpful for those who seek to understand how we triads can "do this," and It rings true for someone like me who is actually "doing it." What menagers have done is to acknowledge and accept the ever-changing dynamics of love and desire as they seek to fulfill their needs openly. Indeed, menagers often relish the moral, intellectual and philosophical struggle necessary to battle hypocrisy and make a new world for themselves because of the dominant culture's repression of primal needs that can only he met in an unhealthy manner, unless the individual is brave or desperate enough to fly in the face of convention and is willing to suffer any consequences.

those looking for a social manifesto, a diatribe against the existing order or a theoretical blueprint for mating styles will be disappointed here. The scope of this book takes the reader from the Garden of Eden to the present day, pointing out significant, documented menages along the way and how they relate to our times. Filled with teIIing detail about the daily life of triads, these anecdotes are the most engaging part of the hook. I have always thought that my way of living is 'normal'' (at ]east for me). After reading Three In Love, I know that it is, if not the norm. at least much more common than I previously thought

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THREE IN LOVE
menages a trois from
ancient to modern times
Now available from iUniverse.com

Dedicated to "lovers everywhere, whether alone,
by twos or threes or more."